there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
