why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What a dumb baby whore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
