Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
