My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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