all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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