Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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