and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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