he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
