I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
