i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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