Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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