How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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