walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
we should paint friendship bongs
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