He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
