In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
