I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize