if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
