she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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