So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize