So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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