You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
