I think my vagina is haunted
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize