I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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