Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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