she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
