Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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