i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
