I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize