Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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