I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
