Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
