Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
