hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
These tits shall not be calmed
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
