the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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