I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
