Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
