dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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