sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she looked like the before picture.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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