I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
