worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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