I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
