a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
