Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I die, sorry about rent.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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