Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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