are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
