It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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