Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
