3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize