the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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