There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
