I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
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