bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
