can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
