No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
