a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize