I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i think my cat just said my name.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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