So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
