my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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