I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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