I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize