I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
