it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
